-
Transforming & Transcending Patterns
4:36
Taye4 Comments-
For me I’d say my first step to transforming and transcending my pattern of being too reserved with self expression, is to practice consistency of self care and inner reflection work. I find it difficult to feel confident in sharing my craft despite how passionate I am about the things I create. That would keep me in this space of watching and rooting on others as they express themselves and their works, but feeling too afraid to do the same. That would lead to this intense feeling of missing out or letting myself just play it safe under the radar unsatisfied. To overcome that pattern I’ve learned to view my self expression as a flower of sorts. I sit with a seed of what I’m feeling or going for, I focus on its purpose and meaning to me, the whys and how I will share this in mind, and then I pour into it and let my inspiration flow. By the end I’ve manifested something that reflects me deeply and it makes me feel seen. 😁❤️ the more I practice this process with consistency, the more fulfilled I become
1-
@grandsoulaan Thank you for sharing. I’m curious to know if you have any awareness about when this pattern of reservation started for you? Was there a moment or a series of moments you can identify that a belief began to form around how you feel about sharing your craft?
-
@april-diane I do indeed. So I have a very emotionally reserved mother 😂 she can be excited but her face and tone just don’t show that. When I would share things I’m proud of or really excited about with her as a child her reactions were usually “oh ok. That’s nice.” And it left me feeling as if the input of her opinion didn’t match the amount of pride or joy I had in what I created or did. Now as a kid I registered it in my mind as “oh it’s just not as good as I thought or as big a deal that I did this as I thought.” So I slowly stopped having any excitement towards sharing expressive works until I met other creatives later on. It became super important for me to applaud others for their self expression because I had this inner feeling of wanting to always nurture and support that sort of thing I didn’t receive as I’d have liked. Kinda like I didn’t want another person to ever doubt if their craft or ideas are wonderful and unique. Yet it would be like pulling teeth to get me to do that for myself at all let alone consistently. I believe it was an inner child wound that got backed by wounded pride/ego as an adult over the years. until I realized to just create and share for the wonder of that feeling ya get when you step back from the finished idea to take it all in and realize you’ve made it into a reality. That “wow I did this and I’m proud of it” feeling. So to sum it up not feeling fully seen or validated during deep expression is what I believe started the pattern.
1-
@grandsoulaan This makes so much sense and I can relate. Glad you are aware of where it started which can be very helpful with the healing process. I love how you also pointed out that you are now practicing appreciating the wonder of bringing an idea into form. This can be huge. The personal satisfaction of knowing you honored the creative aspect of yourself by bringing to life your vision strengthens our internal connection with self.
Also, your point about the ego did not get lost on me either. The ego is not all bad but its desire to protect can be unbalanced. Creating such a protective position that we stay in freeze mode or start to self-sabotage. I am working through this as well.
Thank you for your input as it has brought to light my motivation for building this platform and ultimately pursuing my life’s true purpose. I have been working on creating a community and a brand for decades. I’ve gone through many periods of stopping and starting. Recently I began to question why I am attempting this again, because I saw my pattern of stopping and starting.
This message brought to light that I am doing this for my own self strength. I am doing this so I learn to trust in me more so I gain the sense of feeling like I keep my word to myself. And this means I am keeping my word to infinite intelligence the source of my existence as well and that satisfies my soul. 💛
1
-
-
-
-
